Ugh.

Thanks for the visit, Beedo!

Well, as I can see from the last day I posted here, I haven't kept with my resolution.  I've kept with some of my resolutions (exercise, practicing guitar, yoga breathing, prayer) but writing wasn't one of them.  I find the practice of writing excruciating under most circumstances.  I am so disenchanted with what winds up on the page.  Things that seemed beautiful in my mind look ugly when they see print.  I have had this frustration with all my attempts at art in any medium.  I hear a song in my head but lack the displine and practice to play it on guitar.  I see a picture in my mind but lack the skill to draw or paint it.  When I act and have the opportunity to see myself after the performance, I am shocked by how differently I appear in reality than I appeared in my mind's picture of myself.  I delete so much of what I try to write over and over again. 

D&D is a nice outlet, as I am usually unaware of the fact that I'm creating a narrative for my players when I conduct portions of the campaign over email.  Current players are level 22 in my 4e campaign (hopefully coming to a close before the baby arrives in June), level 6 in my Pathfinder campaign.  I'm a 12th level monk in another Pathfinder campaign, and a 2nd level monk in Alexis' campaign.  I have to say I love them all, mostly because I love the people involved in them.  I've come to believe that the system played does matter, I won't pretend that it doesn't, but the people playing matter so much more.  No system will ever be able to codify imagination or level of involvement/commitment.  I've played from 1e to the present, but my background in roleplaying began with my dad.  He painted our house when I was 4 (an endeavor that took him nearly all summer) and while he would work he would mimic voices of Disney characters (rather well as I remember - Donald and Mickey were his fortes) and he would essentially narrate an adventure with myself as an active participant.  We didn't roll dice; there weren't any rules.  That remains to this day my favorite role-playing experience - my dad spending time entertaining his 4 year old son while he worked.

He painted the house lime green.  Hey, it was the 70's....

I'm actually glad to read my first post on this blog, as I'm somewhat abashed for not keeping with my own promise.  Maybe this will become a means of holding myself accountable.